And...You're Outta There!

I kicked around how to approach this week....I could take the easy way out and do a fluff piece themed to the holiday...or maybe write a piece about how happy everyone is to get 2009 safely behind us...Those seemed like pretty obvious answers. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that the people who read this blog don't want "obvious". "Obvious" is , in this case, just another word for "unnecessary"- which is, in itself, another way of saying "a waste of time". That being said, I'd like to take a few moments to go over a topic that is often overlooked by exhibitors to their own detriment: Toxic Staffers in the booth.



Trade shows are unchallenged in their ability to match potential customers (or, as John Patterson of the National Cash Register called them -"Probable Purchasers") with your product at a time when they are most interested in buying. Corporations around the world spend millions of dollars each year to best capitalize on the abundant opportunities that are available at trade shows, and yet, all too often, people seem to forget the biggest truth about sales- People buy people first, and products second. It doesn't matter how good your product is if the person that you choose to represent you is about as pleasant as a punch in the teeth. In honor of these Misfits of the Mezzanine...these Creeps of the Convention Center, I bring you "The 5 People You Can't Afford to Have Staffing Your Booth".



1. The "Screamer"

Wanted For: Scaring away potential clients

Description: Often seen lunging at everyone who makes eye contact, frantically screaming at people to stop into their booth, handing out expensive literature and give aways to uninterested passer's by, and aggressively chasing anything that moves...usually as they quickly move away.


If you find the Screamer working in your booth: Above all else, stay calm...someone has to. Screamers are usually well intentioned, but clumsy (and over caffeinated). Remind the "Screamer" that there is no need to chase people at a trade show- Interested parties don't need to be roped like cattle...and usually don't appreciate such aggression. Have the "Screamer" treat convention goers as he or she would prefer to be treated if he or she were entering a automobile dealers showroom. If the "Screamer" continues to scare away potential clients, assign the "Screamer" to the inside of the booth where they can do the least harm, while still answering questions from the people who have already entered the booth on their own.





2. The "Squatter"

Wanted for: Illegal parking, Loitering, theft of company time and resources.

Description: Can almost always be found sitting behind a table at their own booth looking completely detached and/or uninterested in being at the show or talking to anyone. May appear to be dead or unconscious due to complete lack of energy or movement throughout entire event. Often found alongside a fish bowl full of show give aways that never seem to actually be given away. Subject should be considered lazy and a waste of company money.

If you find the Squatter working in your booth: There is, unfortunately, not a whole lot that you can do about the "Squatter" other than trying to lead by example. The sad fact is that some people just have it, and some people just don't. If you must rely on the "Squatter" as part of your efforts, immediately remove all chairs/stools and tables that aren't absolutely necessary, and make plans to have someone else staff the booth next time.





3. The "Drunken Uncle"

Wanted for: Public Indecency, Public Intoxication, DcaWI (Driving Customers Away While Intoxicated), Lewd and Lascivious Behavior

Description: The "Drunken Uncle", when not seen making strange, off color, and rambling toasts at weddings, will often often appear staffing trade show booths. The "Drunken Uncle" is recognizable by his inappropriate and often offensive jokes, stories, and behavior while supposedly representing his company.

If you find the "Drunken Uncle" working in your booth: The "Drunken Uncle" should be considered alarming and VERY dangerous to your business. The only thing that will scare away potential clients faster than the Screamer is the mouth of the Drunken Uncle. Much like his wedding namesake, he will always embarrass you without realizing that his humor is falling flat. It is suggested that all booth staffers be reminded that the only people it's acceptable to make fun of are themselves, and that if they have to lower their voices or look around before saying something, it's best left unsaid if they value their employment with the company.





4. The "Politician":

Wanted for: Fraud, Making false promises, Assault on your reputation, Bait and Switch

Description: Also runs by the alias of "Mr. Glad Hand", the "Politician" is a master of gaining trust through false promises, mud slinging, and anything else it takes to make the sale, even if that means lying, cheating, and stealing. For the "Politician", the ends always justify the means, and it's always better to apologize after, than risk not getting the sale today.

If you find the "Politician" working in your booth: Immediately seek higher ground- the kind of higher ground that comes with honest and integrity. Lead by example. Promise ONLY what you can deliver, and then OVER deliver. Make it clear that any promises they make to potential clients are expected to be met, and that over promising and under delivering will not be tolerated. Crack down on any negative talk about your competitors the moment you hear any coming from the "Politician", and make it well known in the advance that every member of your team is expected to represent the company well by always taking the highroad. The negative word of mouth that can come from a customer burned by the politician can be devastating for your reputation.

5. The "Tourist":

Wanted for: Misappropriation of marketing funds, Considered to be a severe flight risk.


Description: The "Tourist"will almost always arrive late and/or hungover to his/her booth. If you turn your back, the "Tourist" will most likely drift away to wander the floor in search of give-aways, or worse they might disappear from the event altogether in search of swimming pools, casinos, bars, or amusement parks.


If you find the "Tourist" working in your booth: Make immediate steps to contain them- the "Tourist" is considered to be a flight risk! Besides the obvious waste of resources involved with bringing along a non-participating member of your team, there is also the loss of potential results to consider. The "Tourist" is great at causing hard feelings and strife among the active staff of your booth, who will almost always develop a sense of resentment stemming from a perceived double standard- they do all the work, while the "Tourist" gets an all expenses paid vacation on the company dime. If you don't clamp down on this roaming employee, you risk having a full scale riot on your hands. AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS!



Set up a pre-event breakfast an hour before the show opens, and make it mandatory to make sure that everyone is ready to start well before the moment that crowds begin arriving. To avoid hangovers, have a set policy in place- anyone showing up to the booth in no condition to work the event (due to over indulgence) is responsible for the cost of their own travel expenses (have everyone agree to this policy before the trip...in writing). There is- unfortunately- very little that can be done to correct the "Tourist" during the event...the best you can do is prevent the situation with clear pre-set rules. If you fail to stop it before it happens, all that is left is to punish AFTER the damage is done.





So, there you have it- the 5 people that you can't afford to have staffing your booth. The cruelest irony though? There is one more person that didn't make the list...and that one person is actually the most dangerous of them all- The "Enabler"...YOU, if you allow yourself to be. None of these characters can operate without being granted permission by YOU. That doesn't mean that you give them your explicit blessing to undermine you efforts and results, but rather that you run the danger of implying that this behavior is acceptable. You do this by not having a well prepared plan of action well in advance of the event. You do this by not setting a positive example to live up to (or worse, by not living up to it yourself). You do it by not being clear with your expectations. You do it by not keeping the interest of the people you have staffing your booth...by not giving them a clear and exciting purpose to take forth and spread to the "Probable Purchasers" walking the hall.

The good news is that by making the conscious decision to reject the role of the enabler, you can almost always guarantee that the 5 characters above won't be making a surprise appearance in your booth.